Rescuing a Kosmik Kaktus painted succulent

If you've been to a home improvement store like The Home Depot or Lowe's in the last year or two, you've probably seen painted succulents on display in the garden center:

“Nature perfect succulents,” says the sign in the photo above. And they would be – if they weren't painted.

My disdain for this marketing gimmick is no secret. I would never have bought one if I hadn't spotted these sad characters languish on the clearance rack at my local Lowe's:

They were neglected, unloved, and 50% off.

I decided to rescue the bright blue one in the front row for a little experiment: Is it possible to remove the paint and, if not, will the plant be able to outgrow it?

These painted succulents are part of Altman Plants' Kosmik Kaktus line, “Boldly Going Where No Plant Has Gone Before.” That's a slogan worthy of a registered trademark!

The sign you see in the photo below sheds some light on the paint: “Kosmik Kaktus plants get their otherworldly look from colors specially formulated for plant life. The artificial coloring does not harm the plants and they will grow out of it in time. New growth will normally emerge as green or golden yellow. Easy to care for with just a sunny window and a light drink every few weeks.”

The exact formulation of this paint is not publicly known, but it is permanent. I have a hard time understanding how the paint could not impair the plant's ability to photosynthesize, in spite of what the sign says. Quite possibly the only way to survive this ordeal is for the plant to grow new leaves as quickly as possible.

My plant is a haworthia of some kind, or more likely a haworthiopsis. The label doesn't give an ID, but it does make this wonderful promise: “As I grow I form a Kosmik halo showing my true colors.” Oh,  I should also mention that my “colorful coating” may cause cancer and reproductive harm. 

The paint was not only on the leaves of my plant, there was also a light dusting of it on the soil – if you can call the crummy peat mix “soil.”

Luckily, the “soil” fell away immediately after I took the plant out of the pot, exposing a healthy-looking root:

Here's my blue velvet beauty repotted in fresh succulent mix:

I tried to scratch off some the paint. It's possible, but the paint doesn't come off easily. In addition, scratching might damage the epidermis. 

Instead of removing as much of the paint as possible, my initial idea, I'll wait to see if the plant survives long enough to produce new healthy leaves. Look for an update next year.

In the meantime, I spotted this at Lowe's:

Could caged succulents be the latest trend? 

At least they're not painted.

P.S. Lest you wonder why painted succulents continue to be sold, enough people must buy them. From a marketing perspective, Kosmik Kaktus is genius.

© Gerhard Bock, 2023. All rights reserved. To receive all new posts by email, please subscribe here.